So Much More

Why is it that women feel the need to downplay their accomplishments, their specialness, their unique contributions to the world? Maybe not all women do this, but many I know (barring a few enlightened ones and a couple narcissistic ones) do. Why?

I can't answer for every woman, but I know mine stems from a culture of claiming it's a sin to think highly of yourself.  I understand conceit is an ugly thing sometimes, especially when applied to superficial things like looks or position in society, but can't conceit be a positive thing too?  Why can't I be proud of my special set of skills? Perhaps, if I acknowledge that I am good at things, I will be more inclined to use those talents for the benefit of others.

Look up the word "proud" in the dictionary. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Do you notice anything interesting about the definitions?

I am struck by the antonymous nature of the two entries. The first has a distinctly positive connotation. And, the sentences used to give context (at least in my version) apply to others, not to self.  Then, I scroll down to the second definition, and insidious alter ego to the first.  The sentences used here are examples of self, not others.

It is this second definition with which I am most familiar.  I am proud of my kids, of my husband, of my nieces and nephew, of my friends, of my students--anyone except myself.

For me, having pride in myself is dripping with ugly connotations. Venom that seeps from a serpent's mouth and poisons everything it touches.  I know the pride of the Old Testament. The stuff that takes down kings and results in the ruin of whole cultures.

This totally flies in the face of Psalm 139:14:
"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well. "

So, what is it? Am I wonderful and marvelous, or am I vanity personified, unworthy of the feel-good moments when I acknowledge my worth?

I am beginning to shift from the latter to the first. Call me a snob if you want. Roll your eyes at my new attitude.  I don't care. Well, I do, but I am working on that.

We are all flawed. Wonderfully imperfect. Marvelous in our unique mix of defects and talents.

We are more, so much more, than we give ourselves credit for.

I am more, so much more, than I give myself credit for.

Go be more today.




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