Say "Ahhh"

No, this is not about going to the doctor. No one will be sticking a tongue depressor so far back in your throat you want to gag. I promise.

The "ahhh" I'm talking about is that rush of air pushed out after a deep inhale, that point of release where you exhale all the stress building in your body, all that stuff making your neck tight, your heart race, your head pound, your brain freak out.

My #1 goal for 2018 is to breathe through situations that would normally trigger worry and anxiety. The great thing is, I can pull it off without any special equipment or without drawing attention to myself, and especially important feature when you work with middle schools students who claim you're "triggered" every time you do or say anything they don't approve of. And, just in case you didn't know, that's pretty much everything.

Come to think of it, I can exhibit signs of triggeredness (I'm fully aware this isn't a word--even before spell and grammar check flagged me--but I've decided to take artistic license) including:

• My hands sometimes curl into fists, particularly when someone is challenging me in a rude way or when I'm driving. Mostly when I'm driving. I've even had a student early in my career point it out when the class was being particularly unruly: "Hey, Ms. Ferry, why are your hands balled into fists?" he asked. "Are you about to punch someone?" How do you answer that one? "Yes, Timmy, I was about to throat punch Billy over there, but now that you've called me out, I guess I better rethink that." (Disclaimer: I have never really been close to punching anyone, much less a student--I feel that's an important distinction to make given my career choice.)
• My brain starts racing during down time, especially when I am trying desperately to go to sleep so I don't spend the next day drooling in a cup. Being on my game is super important given the population I work with. Did you see the most recent Modern Family episode where Cam and Mitch hosted a sleepover for Lily's 12-year-old friends? Even Pam, Cam's rough-n-tough sister, was terrified. Middle schoolers can be brutal. 
• My breathing becomes shallow, causing a rising sense of panic. In this state, I can be reactionary, hurling salty, snarcastic (again, not an official word, but I've heard it on TV shows--if it's good enough for sitcom writers, it's good enough for me) comments in the direction of anyone within earshot. (Another disclaimer: I bite my tongue when I'm in a professional setting--sometimes I fear I will bite it clean off. )

This is where the say "ahhh" thing comes in. I realize I have zero control over most things: the mood or behavior of others, the stages of the moon, the weather, or anything else that causes head-scratching behaviors, frustrations and plain ole' nastiness. But, I can control my breath. It's one of the few things in life I have some sway over. And, as overly simplistic as it sounds, taking deliberate and deep breaths can make crazy situations more tolerable, even manageable.  I just had this conversation with my writing circle buddies the other day. Breathing can and will change my reactions to things, calm me, help me be more reasonable, stop me from committing crimes like throat punching rude people or running idiotic drivers off the road.  It even helped lower my blood pressure at my last doctor's visit substantially. It's that powerful. 

Try it with me, even if you think this stuff is hippy dippy and kooky. Take a deep breath in through your nose, sucking in all the positive vibes you can. Now, say "ahhh" as you exhale, pushing all the anxiety-producing thoughts and feelings out. The "ahhh" can be silent,  if you are in public or  surrounded by 25 middle schoolers who will look at you like you have 5 heads if you actually say "ahhh" out loud. Or, maybe throw all caution to the wind and invite those around you to join in. We could all use a little "ahhh" in our day, don't you think?