Freedom of Voice

Watching your face light up as I hand you a gift. A s you carefully peel back the careful wrapping,          I can feel your  anticipation, my own excitement rising. Your smile spreads, swallowing everything around it. As you examine the carefully chosen item,          I can feel your gratitude, a warm glow spreads throughout me. The gift of giving is the best gift of all. 

As the storm blows through,      the birds still sing,      their chirps pinging from tree to tree      where they found shelter. Amidst the roaring thunder,      their voices can be heard loud and clear,      almost defiant, but not quite. As the gray clouds move swiftly,      casting ominous shadows below,      their calls grow louder, more frequent. Temporarily grounded,      waiting to take flight.

~1 my voice awakens   after months of blank pages  healing words will flow ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ after months of blank pages my voice awakens opening the flow of words ~2 Where were you hiding? All this time lying in wait for the right moment. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ All this time, lying in wait Where were you hiding? Or what were you hiding from? ~3 Slight wind, soothing breeze waking up the weary trees, setting my soul free. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Waking up the weary trees energizing breeze  setting my weary soul free. ~4 A new way to be, blessing those who come your way, committing to change ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Finding a new way to be, committing to change, blessing those who come your way. ~5 the power of words much underestimated never disappoints  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ much underestimated  the power of words yet it never disappoints 

The other day on Facebook, I asked my friends to drop a positive word I could carry into 2019. I got the idea from my husband’s cousin’s post and figured my friends would not disappoint. They didn’t. Here’s the thing: These words only carry weight if I actually do something with them. And I truly plan to incorporate each and every one into my life on 2019 (except maybe the suggestion of kinky...lol). So much better than some lame resolutions I won’t keep. These are more than words. They are sincere well-wishes, prayers, blessings. And just to irritate one of my poetry-hating friends who shall remain nameless, I’m putting them into a NYE poem. Words carry weight only when you      collect them like stones,             each one carefully chosen                   for its uniqueness, its beauty. Adaptability leads to serenity. Caring increases kindness. Daring to unleash some hellfire, ...

"Too blessed to be stressed!" memes dot the social media landscape. It's such a catchy saying, there are shirts, a planner, even a book. Wait. Can't I feel both blessed AND be stressed?  I wasn't aware that these two things were mutually exclusive until someone pointed it out in an annoyingly delusional way. Like many platitudes, I worry about the message it sends. It implies if I were just more grateful, more focused on my blessings, I would be a better person. Like a mother scolding a naughty child, wagging her finger in my face while saying, "Now, now. You have nothing to be stressed about. Your life is easy. Others have it way worse. Just think about how lucky you are." And, you know what? I am not disagreeing that I am a) blessed, b) lucky, and c) others have it way worse. What I am calling foul on is the implication that I am not allowed to be stressed because a, b, and c are true. I think that's a dangerous precedent to set, kind of Step...

Living a fulfilling life is risky business, and some perceive that risk at a much higher level than others. Full disclosure: I am NOT comfortable as a risk taker. At. All. At times, this risk aversion has served me well, especially as a teen, a time when precarious behaviors are tempting and encouraged by peers. It kept me from dropping acid on the way to school at the age of 12 with the neighborhood girl I used to walk with. It stopped me from entering into sexual relationships with boys in high school who were just that--boys. In my gut, I knew neither of these situations would lead to anything good, so I politely said, "Thanks, but no thanks." I also had the safety net of my religion and severely strict parents. I could always blame not going to parties on my parents. That is not to say I didn't do anything risky as a teenager--I still managed to make some pretty irresponsible decisions--but these were carefully measured and planned, and I was still a nervous w...

Last night, my friend with whom we are traveling looked at me and said, “You look so relaxed.” I instantly jumped into, what’s-that-supposed-to-mean mode. Is looking relaxed code, like “ you look tired” usually means, “you look like crap”?  What she really meant was I looked at peace, like I had no cares in the world versus my usual wound up look. And I was. That’s what a day of wine tasting will do for you. Really, what a week in a beautiful landscape with the love of my life, good friends who I can be myself with—framily I call them—locally sourced food, and wine will do for you. I left work behind, I left school behind, I left it all behind.  I am ready to get back to my routine, my own bed, my dog, my life, but I needed this hiatus. It made me once again realize I live a charmed life, even with its ups and downs. I just need to remember that when I get wound up once again (and I’m guessing that will take less than 24 hours).