Faith

3/20/22

Something happened that helped restore my faith in people and soften my ever-hardening heart a bit:

I stopped to get gas on my way home from the gym yesterday morning. As I was pumping my gas, I clutched my wallet tightly, all my spidey senses on high alert, actively assessing my surroundings for clear and present dangers. 

"Ma'am," I heard a female voice call. At first, I didn't realize she was speaking to me, but I became even more hyper-aware of things around me. Was anyone parked near? Anyone lurking on the other side of my vehicle? Nope and nope.

"Ma'am," she says again. This time I turn. "I am wondering if you can help me." 

Here we go, I thought.

"I left my house in a rush this morning and forgot my wallet. I don't have enough gas to get home and just need a gallon or so."

"I don't have any cash," I lied. I figured that would send her on her merry way.

"I don't need cash, just a gallon of gas to make it home." She nodded toward her SUV one bay over. 

I sighed, caught in a lie and now feeling like a real jerk. 

"Just let me finish up, and I'll pull over to you," I reluctantly responded. I have a secondary credit card I planned to use that so we could monitor it for fraud. In retrospect, I could have just admitted I lied and handed her cash, but I panicked and made it more complicated than I really needed to. 

Minutes later, I am inserting my card into the payment slot. She looked away as I typed in my zip code. 

"There you go," I say.

"Thank you so much," she replied.

"No problem!" and I meant it. My original suspicions were waning. 

I decided not to hover over her and watch the amount she pumped. Honestly, I was more worried about there being a reader on the pump than her pumping a full tank of gas. I got in my car, and as I started to drive away, she stopped pumping, smiled, waved, and mouthed "thank you." I smiled and waved back.

Later, as I relayed the story to John, I asked him to check the account. There was one $4.40 charge on the card. 

I recalled my dad telling me as a teenager that when I felt compelled to help others, I should trust my heart and let God worry about whether or not the person was taking advantage. In a world where there are so many scammers, so many ways to be taken, it's difficult not to be leery when people ask for help. But, not everyone is out to get you. I think about how easy it would be to get into a situation like hers, especially when you're stressed or in a rush. I've done way more scatterbrained things. 

I woke up today with a new faith in not only others, but in my own instincts. Has my gut feeling been wrong on a few occasions? Certainly. But, I think I'll take my dad's advice and get God worry about the behind-the-scenes stuff. 




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