Mellow Drama

Lately, I've been trying to pass myself off as a chill, mellow woman, one who is letting things go, getting more Zen-like by the minute.

My body tells me it's all a lie.

What I mistook for a couple of bug bites from an awesome connect-with-nature morning at Lover's Key Park on Saturday have grown in number and intensity, the tell-tale burning-from-the-inside feeling signaling the angry, itchy bumps spreading all over my arms, back, and neck are not a result of pesky mosquitos or noseeums. A quick Google search had me fearing bed bugs, especially since I've been in 3 different hotel rooms in a span of one week (sounds more exciting than it is), but frantically searching my mattress, sheets, and husband abated that panic.

While I long to be calm, go-with-the-flow, and carefree, my mind and body prefer to be more dramatic.

Stressed? How about a few clumsy accidents to leave you with some burns and bruises? Didn't get those hints? Maybe hives will force you to s-l-o-w it down.

I'm not a quick learner, so I began searching my closet for a long-sleeve top that would cover the grotesque bumps but is light enough to help me avoid spontaneously combusting when I walk outside. I started to tear up. Really, drama queen? Crying over not being able to find the perfect blouse?

Time to move on to plan B.  As I soaked in a warm tub, a cocktail of every anti-itch, stress-reducing elixir I could find in my bathroom cabinet, I knew that something had to give. I had to give. I texted my partner to fill her in on my condition, warning her that the antihistamines I gulped down in an effort to ease the relentless deep-down burning itchiness were making me a little loopy.

"Chill," she responded.

After a few more text exchanges, I thanked her for giving me permission to be human and to take care of myself.  I know I don't have to have it---we own the business equally---but, I needed it.

I always do.

So, instead of combing through the test specs I need to commit to memory and conducting other business that needs to get done, but doesn't need to get done today, I let the woozy feeling induced by a warm bath and the medicine take me away for a lengthy nap.

I'm still itchy, the hives are still popping up in inconvenient places (neck, shoulder and back---right where my bra straps will dig into them all afternoon), but I feel better. I think. But, what do I know? I didn't even recognize I was feeling stressed until my body screamed otherwise.

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