Letting Go

Why is it so hard to let go? read the text from a friend whose eldest just pushed the "send" button for an application to a university 4 hours away.

That's the million dollar question. It gets easier, I answered. Lame. So, I added: Just trust that he will make good decisions and learn from the rare bad ones. 

 Trust.

Why is so hard to trust? That is the real million dollar question. We bring them into the world, attending to their every need at first, then gradually begin giving them more and more responsibility and freedom. It's all training for this moment--for them. But, where is the training for us?

I am no parenting expert. In fact, I've experienced plenty of epic fails as a mother--those not-so-proud mom moments when I wished life had a rewind button. But, I can speak with some expertise on transitioning children from dependence to independence. I've (successfully, so far) done it twice.

I always jokingly asked this of myself: Would you rather have them live with you until they are 40?

Seriously, this was the plan all along. They are born,  grow up, leave your house, and make their own imprint on the world.  This is what all your hard work is supposed to lead up to.  If they don't want to leave and do their own thing, you've missed the mark as a parent.

If you think your kids made you proud when they brought home an honor roll report card, won an academic award, hit a homer, nailed a 3-pointer,  or the scores of other things they did to make your heart happy, just wait.  I have always known that my kids were capable of great things, and I always let them know that doing their best was the expectation.

They have both already exceeded my meager expectations.

I cannot even fit the amount of pride I feel when I think of my 21-year-old daughter every time she texts us that she nailed some ridiculously high score on a ridiculously difficult nursing task or test into a single blog post. Or the empathy she shows towards her patients at the hospital--those who might others dismiss because they "did this to themselves." Her graduation from the nursing program in April will be one of the best moments of her life--and mine.

Then, there's my freshman son, who is learning some valuable life lessons and thinks enough of me to share his feelings and deep thoughts. And, when he does, I realize I have raised an intelligent, empathetic, and open-minded man who knows who he is and sticks to his beliefs without judging others.

Trust me, you can trust them.  They will screw up. They should. It's how they learn. We all screwed up on occasion, and we turned out just fine, right?

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