Doin' Time

10 years ago, we upgraded John's original gold wedding band to a platinum band to match the ring he gifted me on our 15th anniversary. I wanted to make it special, so I racked my brain for something meaningful to engrave on the inside as a surprise. 

I went through song lyrics from our favorite bands and wedding song: "One." Meh. "Here and Now." Meh. Admittedly, I don't remember the rest, and if they were that unmemorable, I'm really glad I didn't have any of them etched on a ring. 

I don't know what made me think of it, but the idea of marriage as serving a life sentence came to me. Just to be clear: I don't think of my marriage as a prison, but it seems to be a popular standing joke. 

It hit me: 20 to life. Meaningful, clever (I think), and just the right amount of my brand of snarky. I thought it may be a risky move--if he hated it, no one else would see it, but he would know it was there. I decided to take my chances. 

He loved it.

So did the salesman at the jewelry store when John asked for my 30th anniversary band be engraved with 30 to life. He even used the word "clever" when he heard the original story. 

Here we are, 30 years into this life sentence, doing our time--gladly. 

A co-worker once asked a group of us if we ever looked at our spouses and regretted our decision. I honestly answered "no," and that answer still stands. Not that we don't have fleeting moments where we want to wring each other's necks, but there haven't been any deal breakers. 

I will gladly do my time with someone who not only sees me at my best but also at my very worst--and loves and supports me anyway. Someone who can be honest with me and with whom I can be honest--even when it stings a bit. Someone who makes measured decisions when it matters but can also be spontaneous. Someone who works diligently to provide for the people he loves but also carves out time to have fun or just relax. 

Doin' Time

"Time is fleeting," some will say. 

True, time runs through a sieve like water, 

but it leaves behind precious pieces--

     memories etched in our brains,

     photographs in our minds, 

     gems more precious than diamonds.

Time is fleeting, but it need not be wasted. 

Let it flow at its own perfect pace, 

but collect perfectly curated moments--

     the smiles of your loved ones,

     the warmth of a heartfelt hug,

     the laughter you share. 

Do your time, but do it well. 




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