Last week, my post was inspired by "These Are Days" by 10,000 Maniacs. In her response, a dear friend dropped another gem by Natalie Merchant: "Kind and Generous." The lyrics really hit home, especially these days. I've been working hard to overcome some pretty unsavory and deep-seeded feelings, emotions I thought I was doing a bang-up job of ignoring and squelching. Until I wasn't. I've always been empathetic and compassionate with others but have always struggled to extend those kindnesses to myself. Somehow I got the message that I wasn't worthy of it, that I had to live up to some impossible set of standards just to be good enough. And, don't misconstrue this as me blaming my mother (everyone blames the poor mother) or my upbringing in general. These messages come fast and furious from all directions in our society. I just did a stellar job of internalizing every single one of them. I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who see all t...
2/22/22 Well...didn't exactly snap it back yesterday--lunch with a friend turned into not caring as much at dinner. I didn't go nuts, just ate white flour and cheese at both meals. I did start right with a small banana, but followed with flatbread and ravioli. Oh well. The old me would have all sorts of things to say about this. The new me knows it can't be a daily thing if I plan on reaching my goals. Like the devil and angel on my shoulder, they engage in some pretty intense battles, but more and more, the angel is winning.
2/14/22 We don't celebrate Valentine's Day, a "Hallmark Holiday" as my husband calls it. At first, I was peeved. But, over the years his "logic" began to make a little more sense. Why is there only one day reserved to celebrate love? Shouldn't it be year-round? OK. At least it gets him out of battles for overpriced roses or jewelry purchases for things I will hardly wear. And, in his defense, I get beautiful, reasonably priced tulips (or roses when tulips aren't available) for our anniversary in April. After 30 years of marriage and 34 total years together, I am thinking he is on to something: love can't be a special event, it has to be a daily practice.
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