Model Behavior

"Ms. M," one of the middle school girls sweetly addresses me by the nickname she gave me on the first day in class, "you're always so polite."

Choking back tears that have been building all week, I reply, "I try. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone spoke to each other in a polite tone all the time?"

"Yes," she quietly answers.

I had to turn on my heels--fast--so she didn't see my eyes well up.  Her simple observation hit me like a lightening bolt and brought me to this devastating realization: most of these girls live in situations where people don't speak politely--at best.  I already figured this was true, but it's the first time the reality really hit me hard.

"MISS!" someone else screeched from across the room.  I knew in that split second one of the best ways I could serve these girls in my time with them is to model appropriate and polite interactions. Yes, reading skills are important, but learning will never happen when the negative interactions and overreactions are a frequent occurrence. They need me to show them they can dial down the volume and the attitude and still have their voices heard.

Toward the end of class, I called them up one by one to look at point sheets and missing work. A few girls took things home to complete over the long weekend.  I assured all of them that I want them to be successful and that this is the perfect time for everyone to start anew.

One of the other girls who I have been told is quiet and never smiles has been one of my most engaged and active students, answering questions, smiling frequently, and even sitting with some other girls today.

Just before the bell, she asked if she could take some markers home to finish a coloring page she had started during the free time allotted while I met with the students.  I saw that by "some," she meant the whole pencil box full of them. I have to admit they are beautiful markers--adult Crayolas that were on clearance with the adult coloring books at Target.

"I don't get to color at home."  It took every ounce of my being not to tell her to take them and keep them forever.  But, I figured this would be a great lesson in trust and responsibility.

"Sure, sweetie (name withheld to protect her identity), go ahead. Just remember to bring them back on Monday so we have them for class."

"I will," she promised. "Thank you." Her eyes bore into my very soul with sincerity and gratitude.  It's as if those markers were gold.

I have to remember these girls are precious people, even when they seem nasty and combative or withdraw and uncooperative. It's their front, the way they protect themselves.

I have to show them model behavior. And, that's exactly what I intend to do.

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