Sound of My Soul

Last year, a friend asked for a list of my top ten favorite songs. He did the same with my husband and his wife. Then, he made playlists from all of our top tens and played them. Mine were all thoughtful, soulful songs with meaningful lyrics (see last week's post for some insight into why). Theirs were all upbeat, fun, and well, sometimes just silly.

I don't remember all the songs I named (it was an on-the-spot situation), but I know the Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony," The Rolling Stone's "Wild Horses," and U2's "Bad" all made the list. Needless to say, my songs went over like a turd in a punchbowl. Those lyrics meant something to me but didn't have the same impact on them.

We ended up listening to one of Joe's top ten--"Welcome to My House" by DJ Sungh--ad nauseam that evening. I don't ever need to hear that song again. Ever.

I will admit that most of my music listening happens when I am in the car, and my travel time on the daily has increased exponentially since I started my new job. At the minimum, I get an hour and a half on the road to blast the radio and let myself get lost in the lyrics. Driving to work the other morning, I heard the song "Boxes" by the Goo Goo Dolls for the first time. The lyrics hit home--to the point of bringing me to tears. So, naturally, I fell in love. It could be the theme song for my relationship with John.

I need a family to drive me crazy
Call me out when I'm low and lazy
It won't be perfect, but we'll be fine
Cause I've got your back, and you've got mine

Yep. This is a mutual agreement in our house. We push each other to be our best, but definitely stand behind the other person when we don't deliver.

We'll have tiny boxes for memories
Open them up and we'll set them free
There'll be bad days and some hard times
But I'll keep your secrets, if you keep mine

 At this point, I wondered if the writer(s) had spy cams set up in my house. I mean, we have bins we have yet to unpack--all of the memorabilia and photo albums from our almost 27-year marriage that traveled with us through four moves.

Take my picture and then you laugh 
Cause I hate the way I look in photographs

Um, this is me. I loathe the way I look in pictures and secretly have recently tossed some that really offend me. (Shhh. It's our little secret.)

Keep your memories, but don't live in the past,
I'm looking forward to the best days we will have. 

I hope we have our best days going forward. Overall, the past has been pretty good to us, but I don't want to go back. I made a pact with myself a long time ago to keep my eye on the future and not pine for the past.  I have to admit, however,  the idea of growing old scares me, especially given some pretty angst-inducing family history.

And just like that, the chorus takes away that angst:

You are the memory that won't ever lapse
When twenty five years have suddenly passed
Wherever you take me, it's clear I will go
Your love's the one love that I need to know.

More than 25 years have passed. How, I am not quite sure. But, this I do know: John has always been the quiet place where I can take a breather when the noise gets to be too much. He is my love song, the sound of my soul.

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