The Myth of "Too Blessed to Be Stressed" Part 2

Oddly enough, I realized I wrote a piece with the same title a couple of years ago. 

Those of you who know me know I am not a fan of platitudes. Those of you who really know me know I loathe them. 

Disclaimer: If you think you might be offended by some straight talk, please exit the building now. I am not trying to lose friends or make enemies, but I realize some of what I will say will be unsettling to people who insist on keeping up the "positive at all costs" facade. 

For those of you still here, thanks for being willing to delve into this radical idea with me. 

Here goes.

In general, I do lean toward optimistic, but not the over-the-top Sally Sunshine version. My brand of optimism is positivity with a healthy dose of realism and an even healthier dose of sarcasm to ease the pain. To pretend that everything is perfect and wonderful and great all the time is a sign of delusion in my book. Not that I piss on anyone's pot of gold. If that is the way you want to live, follow your leprechaun. 

Actually, I made a solid attempt to be this person, to smile through anything, look at the bright side, give everyone the benefit of the doubt--no matter what. 

And it slowly ate away at my soul. 

You are allowed to be blessed and still be stressed. You are allowed to have faith but still feel fear. 

Why are you allowed these freedoms? Because you are human, and humans have such emotions. To squash them constantly leads to chronic stress and anxiety. Well, maybe not for everyone, but it certainly has for me. 

It's like the devil and angel on your shoulder thing. Both negative and positive things exist. And, as much as you want to flick away the little red monster, it's pretty persistent. Ignoring it makes it angry, and it grows bigger and bigger until as my therapist once said, "the lizard turns into a dragon."

It has taken me years of introspection, reflection, and admittedly tons of angst to get to a point where I realize negativity has a place in my life--just not a dragon-size lair. Recognizing it, acknowledging it, and naming it takes away some of its power. It doesn't go away, but it shrinks back to the appropriate size.

In reality, being leery of things is paramount to your physical and emotional survival. Stress can drive you to some awesome accomplishments. Fear stops you from doing some super dumb things that will ultimately lead to your untimely demise. Platitudes, on the other hand, divert your attention as you step right off a steep cliff. 

I realize that sounds harsh, but remember, I warned you. 

Another thing platitudes do is dismiss your right to feel your emotions, and I think that's complete BS. I can say from experience that those emotions don't just go away because you choose faith or look on the bright side or count your blessings. What they do is go into hiding and slowly but surely peek out at increasingly regular intervals, getting a little bolder each time you ignore them. Until one day, they all break free of their prison cells at once and overwhelm you with demands for attention. 

This mutiny is avoidable, but I am going to go out on a limb and say that not many of us make it through life without at least one emotional rebellion. Or, if you have, see the delusional section above. 

Don't get me wrong, positivity is where I like to hang out. It's a pretty cool place to be. I am just choosing not to take a bite of the poison apple that feeds me the lie that I get to choose happiness all the time. 

Instead, I'm adopting this stance:

Life is generally good, but with that good comes some bad, and I can handle it all as long as I am courageous enough to acknowledge that. 


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