13 Things
Today, my friend Melissa posted an article, "30 Things You'll Regret When You're Old." We laughed at #27: Not learning a party trick. I am willing to let that one go. My best trick is leaving by midnight so I don't embarrass myself, or worse, fall asleep. My firm commitment to that strategy has earned me the nickname "Cinderella" by another friend.
I decided to write my own list. Let's see how many I can come up with!
1. Obsessing over a number on a scale. I've battled this my whole life, even vowing to end it all in my teens if I ever went over 120. Obviously, I'm over 120. I'm still here. And, my happy weight is way higher than many women would be able to stomach. I'm currently working on thinking about all the things my body has done--birthed 2 beautiful humans, run a half marathon (well, run/walk, but I crossed the finish line), hiked to the entrance of Angel's Peak at Zion National Park, and carrying me through this life, encouraging me to move when I felt frozen in place.
2. Using the phrase, "I'll never..." Never say never because you never know. One "never" I've stuck to is I'll never own a minivan, but the rest--I'll never weigh more than 120, I'll never yell at my kids, and many other classics--have been epic fails. And, please don't be offended if you have or do own a minivan. We can still be friends.
3. Failing to appreciate others. We can't make it through this life without other people. It's easy to appreciate the big or long-term things, but we tend to overlook the little things people do for us. Acknowledge them.
4. Waiting around for confirmation that what you do matters. It matters. Just trust that. Being a teacher has taught me that. I have on occasion heard from former students who have told me I made a difference for them. But, most of the time, you will never know how you impacted people. Let go of ego and vow to be a positive force without requiring recognition.
5. With that said: Failing to recognize others. Just because we don't require recognition doesn't mean we don't appreciate it. Everyone likes to hear they're wonderful every once in a while, so when someone does something that catches your attention, tell them.
6. Freaking out over something you can't control. Stop freaking out. Replace it with some small action that will help the situation. Or, if there's nothing you can do to ease the circumstance, find a cause you can help and pour your energy into that.
7. Constantly saying you're sorry. Stop apologizing for things you don't need to feel sorry about. You can't help if it literally rained on someone's parade or if someone is sick (unless you sneezed or coughed on them--then by all means, apologize). I'm sorry is such a pat response. Are you really sorry? Do you need to be? If not, don't say it. You can empathize with someone's plight without making it your fault.
8. Playing the blame game. Everything does not have to be someone's fault. Most things are consequences of the interplay of complex forces way out of our control. And, sometimes shit just happens.
9. Turning down invitations to have fun. I appreciate my down time as much as the next, but when I find myself turning friends down one after the other, I have to look at what is driving that behavior. And, I never regret accepting the invitation. It's easy to use work as an excuse. It's even easier to sit on the couch, but that gets boring after a while. Just remember, don't lose a shoe if you stay out past midnight.
10. Calling pleasures "guilty pleasures." Want chocolate? Eat chocolate. Maybe your body needs the magnesium. Sure, a bowl of beans will do the trick too, but you're allowed to have the chocolate. Why the heck do we feel compelled to feel guilty about indulging?
11. Missing opportunities to help others. You don't have to sacrifice yourself to help others. You don't have to move mountains for them or make some grand gesture. Hold the door for someone struggling with a heavy load, smile at a mom with a screaming baby, buy someone lunch, bring a tired co-worker a coffee. It's not that hard.
12. Begrudging others' choices. You're allowed your choices. Others are allowed theirs. Don't get all pissy when everyone doesn't subscribe to your views or lifestyle. Stop judging and resenting and envying. Those are not good looks.
13. Reliving personal nightmares. We've all had our fair share of terrible things happen to us. Reliving the past just allows those things power. Take back your present by processing and exorcising those demons. Send them to Hell where they belong.
I'm ending on number 13. It's a bad omen for some, but it's actually a lucky number in our family, so it seems fitting. Plus, I'm not going to force more things just to hit an even number.
And, just in case you think I'm being bossy, let me assure you I came up with this list as a reminder to myself. I've almost mastered some of these but am just beginning my journey with others. If any these reminders apply to you, please think about joining me so we don't have to travel alone. If they don't, consider writing your own list. When you do, I'd love to see it!
I decided to write my own list. Let's see how many I can come up with!
1. Obsessing over a number on a scale. I've battled this my whole life, even vowing to end it all in my teens if I ever went over 120. Obviously, I'm over 120. I'm still here. And, my happy weight is way higher than many women would be able to stomach. I'm currently working on thinking about all the things my body has done--birthed 2 beautiful humans, run a half marathon (well, run/walk, but I crossed the finish line), hiked to the entrance of Angel's Peak at Zion National Park, and carrying me through this life, encouraging me to move when I felt frozen in place.
3. Failing to appreciate others. We can't make it through this life without other people. It's easy to appreciate the big or long-term things, but we tend to overlook the little things people do for us. Acknowledge them.
4. Waiting around for confirmation that what you do matters. It matters. Just trust that. Being a teacher has taught me that. I have on occasion heard from former students who have told me I made a difference for them. But, most of the time, you will never know how you impacted people. Let go of ego and vow to be a positive force without requiring recognition.
5. With that said: Failing to recognize others. Just because we don't require recognition doesn't mean we don't appreciate it. Everyone likes to hear they're wonderful every once in a while, so when someone does something that catches your attention, tell them.
6. Freaking out over something you can't control. Stop freaking out. Replace it with some small action that will help the situation. Or, if there's nothing you can do to ease the circumstance, find a cause you can help and pour your energy into that.
7. Constantly saying you're sorry. Stop apologizing for things you don't need to feel sorry about. You can't help if it literally rained on someone's parade or if someone is sick (unless you sneezed or coughed on them--then by all means, apologize). I'm sorry is such a pat response. Are you really sorry? Do you need to be? If not, don't say it. You can empathize with someone's plight without making it your fault.
8. Playing the blame game. Everything does not have to be someone's fault. Most things are consequences of the interplay of complex forces way out of our control. And, sometimes shit just happens.
9. Turning down invitations to have fun. I appreciate my down time as much as the next, but when I find myself turning friends down one after the other, I have to look at what is driving that behavior. And, I never regret accepting the invitation. It's easy to use work as an excuse. It's even easier to sit on the couch, but that gets boring after a while. Just remember, don't lose a shoe if you stay out past midnight.
10. Calling pleasures "guilty pleasures." Want chocolate? Eat chocolate. Maybe your body needs the magnesium. Sure, a bowl of beans will do the trick too, but you're allowed to have the chocolate. Why the heck do we feel compelled to feel guilty about indulging?
11. Missing opportunities to help others. You don't have to sacrifice yourself to help others. You don't have to move mountains for them or make some grand gesture. Hold the door for someone struggling with a heavy load, smile at a mom with a screaming baby, buy someone lunch, bring a tired co-worker a coffee. It's not that hard.
12. Begrudging others' choices. You're allowed your choices. Others are allowed theirs. Don't get all pissy when everyone doesn't subscribe to your views or lifestyle. Stop judging and resenting and envying. Those are not good looks.
13. Reliving personal nightmares. We've all had our fair share of terrible things happen to us. Reliving the past just allows those things power. Take back your present by processing and exorcising those demons. Send them to Hell where they belong.
I'm ending on number 13. It's a bad omen for some, but it's actually a lucky number in our family, so it seems fitting. Plus, I'm not going to force more things just to hit an even number.
And, just in case you think I'm being bossy, let me assure you I came up with this list as a reminder to myself. I've almost mastered some of these but am just beginning my journey with others. If any these reminders apply to you, please think about joining me so we don't have to travel alone. If they don't, consider writing your own list. When you do, I'd love to see it!
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