Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

I am the queen of the Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda's.

I should have worked out.
I should drink more water.
I shouldn't have eaten that pizza (wings, burger, fries, and so on).
I should clean my house.
I shouldn't have let myself gain so much weight.

I would have gotten my Master's degree a long time ago if only I had had the funds and the time.
I would have been a better parent if only I could go back in time.
I would have had more fun when I was young if I didn't have to hold a full-time job.
I would have responded differently to...

I could have avoided so much stress if I had just...
I could have been...
I could be a better person if I only...

Today, I should be working out, cleaning my house, and finishing up a couple of projects for work.
Today, I would have gotten up earlier to get these things done if I weren't so lazy.
Today, I could be getting a lot accomplished if I would just get off my butt.

Instead, I let myself sleep in (or rather, my dog let me sleep in). I made a Target run a little later than usual and treated myself to a Venti Chai tea latte with coconut milk while I slowly perused the items on the shelves. And, when all the groceries were unloaded, I unpacked my bags after being away from home all week, sorted the laundry, tossed in a load, and started the dishwasher. Of course, my mind went to all the shoulda, woulda, coulda's still looming.

To shut it up, I did what I wanted instead: I took a long, warm bath. And, other than writing, I am not planning to do much else today. I am going to stay horizontal on my comfy couch with my book and the TV remote. I'm going to tell the voice in my head to shush when it begins to tell me I'm lazy and unmotivated.

 You should be doing something; you could be getting so much done; you will regret wasting your day.

 I should be doing exactly what I am doing: engaging in some self-care and allowing myself to rest and relax after a busy couple of weeks instead of continuing to run myself down. It could be just what I need, and I won't worry about all the things I'm not getting done.

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